The High School Lesson

This piece is more personal than my usual posts.  I'm not sure posting it is a great idea. What the f.

My father, who had money in those days, decided, probably more for his own ego than mine, to get me out of high school and into college, whatever it took. The way I saw it, only two things could do it.   Much higher grades and a miracle.   I guess that would be two miracles. 

My father talked to his friends, called everybody else and finally, found a way which satisfied “The Mission,” as he called it. With only a few days notice, he pulled me out of my Long Island public school class and, now half way through 12^th grade, enrolled me in a very unusual and private (one to one) school he  found.  

The New York Tutoring School, since renamed the NOT ALLOWED TO SAY IT School, had existed and prospered since 1925, because of a never spoken arrangement designed to get troubled kids, with grades like mine, a genuine, recognized-by-the-state, good as gold, high school diploma.  A pot of gold at the end of my father’s private rainbow.

The classes at The Tutoring School were carefully monitored.  The moment a student began to have the slightest difficulty with a subject or assignment, that class came to an end.  The student’s most recent successful assignment or test became the student's final grade.  This all but guaranteed the final grade would be an "A".  To make certain there was no slippage, some classes, like geometry in my case, lasted only eight days.  Some students had even shorter courses. 

And so it was that abruptly and finally, the class simply disappeared from the schedule, the final grade recorded, the page turned.

I got straight A’s in everything and was thrilled.  Again without warning, late that spring, I was called to the head mistress’s office.  There I received my diploma. It happened in the privacy of a thickly padded, perhaps sound-proofed, office.  The room was green and poorly lit.

"Here," said the head mistresses, in a low voice, extending her right arm, the one with the hand that held the diploma.   She never made eye contact and the entire event took less than a minute. It was just me and Ms. McDermott, who insisted on being called Miz Mac-der-mot.

There was no Pomp, no Circumstance.  No nothing.  A real graduation ceremony, of the kind I would have received in public school, would have been impossible; The Emperor's New Diploma.

Finally, as painlessly as it had been from the beginning, it was over.  I never had to lift a pencil, though I did.  But lots of kids didn’t.  What  point?

I had excelled in every subject for that brief period and the grades that were sent on to college raised my average from the  D’s, F’s and incompletenesses  to which I was accustomed to, to a giddy C+.  I was delighted.  My “inner student” had emerged, I thought, just as I always suspected it would, given half a chance.

Despite the nature of my accomplishment I did learn a lesson I have never forgotten. The rules didn’t matter.  There is no “right” way of doing anything. Somebody or something, would always protect me from failure and the real world I had learned so much to fear.

Years later,  I wondered what might have happened without my father's help.  

The old adage, "What does not kill us, makes us stronger," might have applied.

Soon, however, I internalized the lesson and, in the fog of forgetting, the circumstances

of my remarkable come-back faded from my consciousness, replaced by a vague sense of magic and superstitious beliefs that are with me still.  

I believed in the magic that seemed to have saved me.  It surrounded my life.  But, unsure of just where the magic came from, I took no chances.  Not long after school, I began to wear charms on my fingers, wrists and around my neck.  Stones, metal things with funny markings, unusual rings and jewelry, that were gifts from special people. 

My belief in a special magic, always at the back of my brain, undoubtedly protected me from an unimaginable number of adventures and successes. 

*

A couple of funny things.  There were hand written notes on the report cards which accompanied the grades sent to my parents.  In the report cards Ms. McDermott wrote things that totally contradicted the grades.  Ms. McDermott ranted, raved and told another story in what she wrote.  One of mine read, “This boy is either too sick or too spoiled to ever amount to anything.”   When I found a few of these report cards a few years ago, I was shocked.  I had done so well at The Tutoring School.  What was all this crazy stuff about?  I thought she was crazy.

I also remember a few of the teachers, some of whom were real scholars, obviously in need of a few bucks.   Miss. Maitland comes to mind. She “taught” English Lit. but there was something wrong with her makeup.  It was perfect except that all of it was an inch and a half to the right of each feature.  Her red lipstick, for example, nearly missed her lips entirely, creating a kind of second mouth right next to the real one.  And her eye makeup didn’t start until the middle of her eyes and extended well beyond them.  There were other teachers I remember.   But that’s enough.